I was working today and had this gem of a conversation with my incontinent 93-year old patient as I was passing meds in the afternoon.

Me: Hi, Mr. ______. I have something for you again (referring to the meds I was gonna give him).
Pt: Well, that's great! I have something for you too (referring to something squishy on his behind).

I tell you, I have such cheeky patients.

I had another conversation with another patient earlier in the day which left me quite speechless.

Me: Hi, Ms. _______. I'm ______ and I'll be taking care of you today.
Pt: Oh, what a lovely name! It's so ladylike.
Me: (snickering) Oh, I am very far from being lady-like.

The patient says nothing after this but later in the day, I overheard her telling her daughter that she thinks her nurse is a lesbian.

I love my job. I really do . . . most of the time.

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I have a blushing problem. It's quite annoying actually. The redness and heat just creep into my face at the most inopportune times, displaying my innermost thoughts and feelings for the entire world to see. Believe me, it gets quite interesting whenever I'm talking to a cute guy. I blush, then I choke & stutter, then I blurt out the first thing that comes to mind, which more often than not is highly inappropriate. Hot.

Anyhoo, I read on MedlinePlus that blushing is mainly caused by rosacea, hot or spicy food, or extreme emotions.

I looked up rosacea and holy heck, I hope I never get it. I don't want to end up with a red bulbous nose and adult acne. So far, I have 1 out of the 4 symptoms of rosacea. I'd say my chances are pretty slim. *phew*

I also don't eat hot or spicy food. They make my digestive system go ballistic.

This brings us to the third main cause of blushing: extreme emotions.

Can I just tell you MedlinePlus people that thinking a random guy is cute is NOT an extreme emotion?! An extreme emotion would be something like yelling at the rude receptionist at the doctor's office or getting all madwoman-crazy excited about seeing Rob Pattinson in person but whatever. You guys are the experts. Or so they say.

Anyhoo, my blushing problem has landed me into trouble at one time or another.

Like that time when I had a really cute patient and I kept blushing whenever I went into his room.

Which is very unprofessional and super uncomfortable. For me. And for him. And for his girlfriend who was also in the room.

To make matters worse, my verbal diarrhea thinks it's funny to kick me in the gut when I'm down so it usually rears it's ugly head when I find myself in awkward situations. Like when I'm busy blushing in front of a patient and his girlfriend.

Naturally, I ended up saying something inappropriate.

Like when his girlfriend said my wishbone necklace was really pretty and I said that I like it eventhough it's shaped like a vagina. WTF?!

Which made me blush even harder. Really, it's a vicious cycle.

They should offer some type of class on how to control verbal diarrhea. Or blushing. Or just make it a buy one-get one offer. Believe me, I'll be the first one in line if they ever do.

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I'm back, bloggy world! Finally! My old laptop finally died a few days ago after months of fighting for it's life, rendering me unable to function even in real life post updates. Well, today I bought my first extravagant purchase after getting a job as a nurse. I bought myself a MacBook. Woot! You don't understand, this is srsly a HUGE deal. You see, I've been pining for one for years, but I've never really had an extra thousand dollars lying around so getting one was never an option before. When I became a nurse, a MacBook was on top of my to-buy list. Unfortunately, my old Toshiba probably realized it was getting the boot soon so it decided to up and die on me without warning. I know that getting this new computer means that I would have to be a cheapskate not spend too much on other things like food or clothes or gas, but it is so so so worth it. I've never had a Mac before so this will take some getting used to. I'm still trying to figure out what the heck Garage Band and Dashboard are. Oh well. I'll figure it out sooner or later. But I AM SO STOKED! I finally have my MacBook! And I bought it with my own money! Yay me! Look at me, all grown up. Haha. So that's it. I just wanted to post an update on why I've been MIA lately. I'll post again soon.

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