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deal or no deal.
So last night, I was talking on the phone with a guy I met online and we totally hit it off. I'll call him Mr. Hapa (a new word I learned from him which means half-and-half) since he's 50% Asian, 50% white and 100% cute. Like I said, Mr. Hapa and I hit if off. Well, I think we did. I mean, it was a 2-hour phone call that ended only because he had to wake up early today. Psssh.
Anyway, our getting-to-know-you convo suddenly veered towards dealbreakers. This might sound entirely bizarre but it was a very enlightening experience for me. No, it wasn't because of Mr. Hapa's answers (which were awesome btw) but more so because of mine. Maybe I'm just slightly self-absorbed like that. *snicker*
Moving on, so I was telling Mr. Hapa about my dealbreakers. Mine were the following:
1) Not being a gentleman. Major MAJOR pet peeve. Prime example: walking through a door and not looking to check if someone's behind you so the door ends up slamming in the girl's face. I mean, that's not even being a gentleman. That's being a decent human being! Obviously, I feel strongly about this issue. Yes, I'm talking to you, caveman-like-douche-i-went-out-with-that-one-time! Learn to open doors for ladies, especially ones you're out on a date with! And while you're at it, buy yourself some sense of humor . . . which totally brings me to my next dealbreaker.
2) No sense of humor. I love sense of humor. We're chummy chums, sense of humor and I. Sometimes he's slapstick, oftentimes he's sarcastic, sometimes he's bad, oftentimes he's really really good. I don't care in what size, shape or form sense of humor comes in, I like them all.
3) Bad personal hygiene. Seriously, is it so hard to take a shower, brush your teeth, cut your nails and clean your nose/ears/in between your toes?! I don't get what the deal is. You see, I have an issue with smell. Mr. Hapa thinks this is weird since I'm a nurse and I deal with super stinky stuff on a daily basis. That's not the point, Mr. Hapa. I don't date my patients so that doesn't count. Pffft. Anyway, if the guy I'm dating has bad breath, stinky feet and general BO, I'm not giving him a sponge bath. I'm kicking him to the curb.
4) Not wanting kids. I love kids. I do. I love kids so much I want to be a pediatric nurse one day. 'Nuff said.
5) Not having a good relationship with his family. This is a grey area for me. I can't generalize and say that all men with family issues are not going to be great boyfriends/husbands. I do know that there are some great guys out there who, through no fault of their own, just got unlucky with the family they were born into. Maybe the stork made a mistake. Or got lost. Or was drunk. Anyhoo, I also know that there are guys out there who were brought up in wonderful families, but turned out to be world-class jerks. So yea, this isn't a clean-cut issue. I'll be honest, though, the guys I know who grew up in loving families are some of the nicest, most genuine people I know.
So there you have it. My top 5 dealbreakers.
Wow. I never thought I'd take Mr. Hapa's question so seriously. Funny. Maybe it was something I ate last night.
Anyhoo, I woke up this morning and texted a few more dealbreakers to Mr. Hapa since the 5 I mentioned obviously don't cut it.
1) Mullets and Combovers. Making people ugly since the dawn of time.
2) Fanny Packs. Real men DON'T wear fanny packs. In fact, nobody should wear fanny packs. EVER.
3) Fishnet/mesh shirts, mankinis and tighty whities. Do I seriously need to explain why this is so so wrong?
Then again, if you looked like this in tighty whities then maybe.
4) Unibrows, crooked/broken teeth, hairy chests and porno moustache. Just like Burt Reynolds. Except he doesn't have crooked teeth.
5) Not knowing the difference between "your" and "you're". And "lose" or "loose". And don't get me started on spelling "must've" as "must of". Must've = must have. Must of = just doesn't make sense.
So far, Mr. Hapa says he's passed all of my "pre-requisites". Awesome. Guess the deal isn't broken yet.
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Moving on, so I was telling Mr. Hapa about my dealbreakers. Mine were the following:
1) Not being a gentleman. Major MAJOR pet peeve. Prime example: walking through a door and not looking to check if someone's behind you so the door ends up slamming in the girl's face. I mean, that's not even being a gentleman. That's being a decent human being! Obviously, I feel strongly about this issue. Yes, I'm talking to you, caveman-like-douche-i-went-out-with-that-one-time! Learn to open doors for ladies, especially ones you're out on a date with! And while you're at it, buy yourself some sense of humor . . . which totally brings me to my next dealbreaker.
2) No sense of humor. I love sense of humor. We're chummy chums, sense of humor and I. Sometimes he's slapstick, oftentimes he's sarcastic, sometimes he's bad, oftentimes he's really really good. I don't care in what size, shape or form sense of humor comes in, I like them all.
3) Bad personal hygiene. Seriously, is it so hard to take a shower, brush your teeth, cut your nails and clean your nose/ears/in between your toes?! I don't get what the deal is. You see, I have an issue with smell. Mr. Hapa thinks this is weird since I'm a nurse and I deal with super stinky stuff on a daily basis. That's not the point, Mr. Hapa. I don't date my patients so that doesn't count. Pffft. Anyway, if the guy I'm dating has bad breath, stinky feet and general BO, I'm not giving him a sponge bath. I'm kicking him to the curb.
4) Not wanting kids. I love kids. I do. I love kids so much I want to be a pediatric nurse one day. 'Nuff said.
5) Not having a good relationship with his family. This is a grey area for me. I can't generalize and say that all men with family issues are not going to be great boyfriends/husbands. I do know that there are some great guys out there who, through no fault of their own, just got unlucky with the family they were born into. Maybe the stork made a mistake. Or got lost. Or was drunk. Anyhoo, I also know that there are guys out there who were brought up in wonderful families, but turned out to be world-class jerks. So yea, this isn't a clean-cut issue. I'll be honest, though, the guys I know who grew up in loving families are some of the nicest, most genuine people I know.
So there you have it. My top 5 dealbreakers.
Wow. I never thought I'd take Mr. Hapa's question so seriously. Funny. Maybe it was something I ate last night.
Anyhoo, I woke up this morning and texted a few more dealbreakers to Mr. Hapa since the 5 I mentioned obviously don't cut it.
1) Mullets and Combovers. Making people ugly since the dawn of time.
2) Fanny Packs. Real men DON'T wear fanny packs. In fact, nobody should wear fanny packs. EVER.
3) Fishnet/mesh shirts, mankinis and tighty whities. Do I seriously need to explain why this is so so wrong?
Then again, if you looked like this in tighty whities then maybe.
4) Unibrows, crooked/broken teeth, hairy chests and porno moustache. Just like Burt Reynolds. Except he doesn't have crooked teeth.5) Not knowing the difference between "your" and "you're". And "lose" or "loose". And don't get me started on spelling "must've" as "must of". Must've = must have. Must of = just doesn't make sense.
So far, Mr. Hapa says he's passed all of my "pre-requisites". Awesome. Guess the deal isn't broken yet.
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